Just a short note unfortunately. I had promised to update again before October; however that is this week, and the post I was going to make hasn't materialised yet, partially because I don't have all the items I wanted to use, and mostly because I have yet another stinking cold and I feel like absolute rubbish.
So, I shall be back before much longer, but it may be a little later than I previously promised - for that I apologise.
See you soon!
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Friday, 11 September 2009
Am getting crap again
Well, I've managed to let this slide yet again - its been over a month since I updated. On the bright side thought, I did muck around on Twitter the other day, so at least there's been something new on these pages.
I was about to say 'not much to say really', which clearly isn't true cos my friend M has been staying with me for the last 2 weeks. We've been about - castles, the seaside, Edinburgh and now we're in London. Not sure how I allowed myself to be talked into the last part because I genuinely don't like London - its nothing against my fine capital city, but something about it just gives me the willies. No idea why.
Edinburgh was pretty cool - I actually remembered to take some pictures when we went on the open top bus tour. If anyone cares, remind me to upload them - would do it now but I didn't bring my camera cord with me and I don't have a memory-card slot on my lappy-top.
Went on a ghost tour the first night. Have to say, was a tad disappointed. It was pretty hokey - I was expecting something a bit more historical rather than theatrical. In the end it felt like the tour guide was trying to scare us, which I wouldn't have minded except there was nothing to be scared of. No ghosties anywhere near (and yes I do believe in them) - M and I had more fun comparing US/UK sign language in the shadows at the back. Kept fighting the urge to blow tour guide's candle out (not a euphamism, we were underground and he really had a candle).
Saw a couple of street performers too - a cocky-ass Canadian who juggled with a chainsaw (but wouldn't effin shut up!) and a much cooler Polish fire-breather - he was very good. Much quieter too!
Okay, am signing off now because I'm sat up typing and slightly hunched over, and my back is killing me now! Hopefully I'll remember to update again before October.
Uni classes start week after next. Update on those, I promise!!!
I was about to say 'not much to say really', which clearly isn't true cos my friend M has been staying with me for the last 2 weeks. We've been about - castles, the seaside, Edinburgh and now we're in London. Not sure how I allowed myself to be talked into the last part because I genuinely don't like London - its nothing against my fine capital city, but something about it just gives me the willies. No idea why.
Edinburgh was pretty cool - I actually remembered to take some pictures when we went on the open top bus tour. If anyone cares, remind me to upload them - would do it now but I didn't bring my camera cord with me and I don't have a memory-card slot on my lappy-top.
Went on a ghost tour the first night. Have to say, was a tad disappointed. It was pretty hokey - I was expecting something a bit more historical rather than theatrical. In the end it felt like the tour guide was trying to scare us, which I wouldn't have minded except there was nothing to be scared of. No ghosties anywhere near (and yes I do believe in them) - M and I had more fun comparing US/UK sign language in the shadows at the back. Kept fighting the urge to blow tour guide's candle out (not a euphamism, we were underground and he really had a candle).
Saw a couple of street performers too - a cocky-ass Canadian who juggled with a chainsaw (but wouldn't effin shut up!) and a much cooler Polish fire-breather - he was very good. Much quieter too!
Okay, am signing off now because I'm sat up typing and slightly hunched over, and my back is killing me now! Hopefully I'll remember to update again before October.
Uni classes start week after next. Update on those, I promise!!!
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
I'm so slack + news
I'm always saying I'm going to update this more, and I never do.
Of course, no-one's reading it anyway, so I figure I'm only letting myself down, but still. Its the principle damnit!
Is anyone buying that? No? Me neither.
Anyway, for the sake of keeping up with documenting my life (so that one day when I'm old and senile there will be some record of me so someone can remind me that I wasn't always old and senile), I have news:
I'm going back to University!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This may seem like a small thing, but its been 3+ years in the making, so I'm thrilled that I'm being given the chance to go back and complete.
For the sake of continuity, despite the fact that my (2) readers already know this story, I will elaborate on why this is such a big deal. I started university (the very first time) way back in 2002, but had a fairly comprehensive emotional breakdown and had to leave after 6 weeks. This was after 3 years of dealing with undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - living away from home and having to deal with that on top of uni-work just did me in. I couldn't cope, couldn't function at all, and leaving became the only realistic option.
So, I left. I came back home, got a job and began seeing a therapist. The job thing didn't last - I was still too ill to hold it down - but I stuck with the therapy, and the medicine the dr prescribed, and things began to improve. That's when I decided I wanted to go back to uni, to start a new course somewhere closer to home so I could continue to deal with my illness, while at the same time attain my degree.
(I won't elaborate on where I studied, or what course, because the internet is a public domain and I have absolutely no desire to be more specific than I have to be) I re-commenced my studies in 2003, the year after my first failed attempt. Things went well enough - had a couple of fals-starts with my course, but it was easily rectified and I was pretty content. This continued into my second year.
Towards the end of my 2nd year things started to go wrong. I freely admit I was in a poor emotional state again at the time (having reached stalemate with my first therapist, I was at that point between doctors) and did not do enough to help myself get out from under my issues.
Regardless, by my 3rd and final year things were really starting to unravel. I could not get a grip on the major research project all final year students have to complete, and initially tried deferring it to the following academic year in order to alleviate some of the pressure.
It was too late - I had effectively given up on my studies. I had 3, or possibly 4 classes in the second half of my 3rd year - I attended only one. I also only attended one exam, guaranteeing a 0 mark for the other 2. I left at the end of the year, and never went back. This was despite the fact that I was meant to re-register in the autumn to begin work on my deferred dissertation. I never did, and no-one noticed. As it turns out that was a good thing, but at the time it simply compounded my feeling that I did not wish to return.
For the next 2 years I worked a series of temp jobs - one of which lasted for 18 months actually, and was a major catalyst in my wanting to return to my education. It was the first job I had ever had where I felt I was useful, felt I knew what I was taking about, felt even that I was respected by the people I worked for. It did untold wonders for my ruined self-esteem, and I began to believe in myself again. I began to look to the future, and decided that I wanted to complete my higher education. I had earned 2 of the 3 years of my university course, and parts of the 3rd year. It seemed a tremendous waste not to try and do something about it - I was so near to the end.
However, I still held some negative feelings towards my old school. My experiences in my final year were largely unpleasant (partly my own fault - as I said, I did not do enough to help myself) and I just couldn't face putting myself back in that situation. I began to look for alternatives, and for a time planned to transfer and complete my studies in the US.
Unfortunately for me, whilst I was busy making my plans, the bottom fell out of the global economy in a fairly spectacular fashion. I lost my job (they were unable to further renew my contract), and all the US loan companies stopped lending money to international students. The whole endeavour would have cost tens of thousands of pounds, and although I had been saving whilst I was working, I couldn't afford the tuition and various other expenses without a loan. I had to go back to the drawing board.
I pondered over this for some time, and eventually came to the realisation that if I truly wanted to complete my undergraduate studies, I would have to return to my old school to do it. I was nervous (terrified, if I'm honest) because what was to stop them from telling me to shove off? It had been years since I last attended, even longer since I started, and I had nothing more than myself, and the growing I had done in the intervening years, to recommend me to them. In the end I decided if I didn't ask I would never know, so I contacted them.
It was a rather drawn-out process, as due to the time-elapse I had to submit a case to the Appeals Board to be allowed to return. Suffice to say, I got very lucky, and have been permitted to return!
This is good news (in case the long rambling story was unclear), although I'm still concerned about some of what has to be done. But this time I am determined to keep going until I succeed - I am an intelligent woman, and stronger than I was before. I will not allow myself to give up, or be defeated this time. It is the last chance I'll have to do this, and I will not squander it.
I am going to do this.
Of course, no-one's reading it anyway, so I figure I'm only letting myself down, but still. Its the principle damnit!
Is anyone buying that? No? Me neither.
Anyway, for the sake of keeping up with documenting my life (so that one day when I'm old and senile there will be some record of me so someone can remind me that I wasn't always old and senile), I have news:
I'm going back to University!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This may seem like a small thing, but its been 3+ years in the making, so I'm thrilled that I'm being given the chance to go back and complete.
For the sake of continuity, despite the fact that my (2) readers already know this story, I will elaborate on why this is such a big deal. I started university (the very first time) way back in 2002, but had a fairly comprehensive emotional breakdown and had to leave after 6 weeks. This was after 3 years of dealing with undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - living away from home and having to deal with that on top of uni-work just did me in. I couldn't cope, couldn't function at all, and leaving became the only realistic option.
So, I left. I came back home, got a job and began seeing a therapist. The job thing didn't last - I was still too ill to hold it down - but I stuck with the therapy, and the medicine the dr prescribed, and things began to improve. That's when I decided I wanted to go back to uni, to start a new course somewhere closer to home so I could continue to deal with my illness, while at the same time attain my degree.
(I won't elaborate on where I studied, or what course, because the internet is a public domain and I have absolutely no desire to be more specific than I have to be) I re-commenced my studies in 2003, the year after my first failed attempt. Things went well enough - had a couple of fals-starts with my course, but it was easily rectified and I was pretty content. This continued into my second year.
Towards the end of my 2nd year things started to go wrong. I freely admit I was in a poor emotional state again at the time (having reached stalemate with my first therapist, I was at that point between doctors) and did not do enough to help myself get out from under my issues.
Regardless, by my 3rd and final year things were really starting to unravel. I could not get a grip on the major research project all final year students have to complete, and initially tried deferring it to the following academic year in order to alleviate some of the pressure.
It was too late - I had effectively given up on my studies. I had 3, or possibly 4 classes in the second half of my 3rd year - I attended only one. I also only attended one exam, guaranteeing a 0 mark for the other 2. I left at the end of the year, and never went back. This was despite the fact that I was meant to re-register in the autumn to begin work on my deferred dissertation. I never did, and no-one noticed. As it turns out that was a good thing, but at the time it simply compounded my feeling that I did not wish to return.
For the next 2 years I worked a series of temp jobs - one of which lasted for 18 months actually, and was a major catalyst in my wanting to return to my education. It was the first job I had ever had where I felt I was useful, felt I knew what I was taking about, felt even that I was respected by the people I worked for. It did untold wonders for my ruined self-esteem, and I began to believe in myself again. I began to look to the future, and decided that I wanted to complete my higher education. I had earned 2 of the 3 years of my university course, and parts of the 3rd year. It seemed a tremendous waste not to try and do something about it - I was so near to the end.
However, I still held some negative feelings towards my old school. My experiences in my final year were largely unpleasant (partly my own fault - as I said, I did not do enough to help myself) and I just couldn't face putting myself back in that situation. I began to look for alternatives, and for a time planned to transfer and complete my studies in the US.
Unfortunately for me, whilst I was busy making my plans, the bottom fell out of the global economy in a fairly spectacular fashion. I lost my job (they were unable to further renew my contract), and all the US loan companies stopped lending money to international students. The whole endeavour would have cost tens of thousands of pounds, and although I had been saving whilst I was working, I couldn't afford the tuition and various other expenses without a loan. I had to go back to the drawing board.
I pondered over this for some time, and eventually came to the realisation that if I truly wanted to complete my undergraduate studies, I would have to return to my old school to do it. I was nervous (terrified, if I'm honest) because what was to stop them from telling me to shove off? It had been years since I last attended, even longer since I started, and I had nothing more than myself, and the growing I had done in the intervening years, to recommend me to them. In the end I decided if I didn't ask I would never know, so I contacted them.
It was a rather drawn-out process, as due to the time-elapse I had to submit a case to the Appeals Board to be allowed to return. Suffice to say, I got very lucky, and have been permitted to return!
This is good news (in case the long rambling story was unclear), although I'm still concerned about some of what has to be done. But this time I am determined to keep going until I succeed - I am an intelligent woman, and stronger than I was before. I will not allow myself to give up, or be defeated this time. It is the last chance I'll have to do this, and I will not squander it.
I am going to do this.
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Working again - briefly
Just a quick note to say I'm not sure when I'll next be updating properly, as I will be working for the next two weeks, and I'm so out of practice that its probably going to kill me.
So, I'll speak to you (my 2 readers) when I can.
Peace!
So, I'll speak to you (my 2 readers) when I can.
Peace!
Monday, 6 July 2009
Future body art?
Continuation of the last post - these are some designs I'm considering for future tattoos.
Okay, that concludes my ramblings for today. Ridiculous isn't it - I'm silent for 2 weeks then all of a sudden I can't shut up. Oh well! :D
This is actually a necklace I got at Spencers in Colorado Springs:
Gorgeous, isn't it? For those who can't quite see its a sword with a decorative hilt, with a rose vine winding around the blade and the rose itself in the centre of the hilt. I'm thinking back of the neck?
Next is swiped from the Dan Brown novel Angels and Demons (good film, btw). I saw someone once with an ambiagram of the word 'AIR' and thought it looked awesome, but couldn't imagine it was possible to do with my element, 'EARTH' because its an awkward looking word. But I guess it can be done. This one I really want, but I have no idea where.
For the next two I have to give credit to Pat Fish, who is an artist out of Santa Barbra, CA. She specialises in Celtic designs, and her work is amazing. I'd kill to get inked by this lady.
These are possible if I chicken out of the sword - I'd put one of these on the back of my neck.
Cool, right? I know the bottom one is probably too intricate to be that small, but I love the colouring on it.
These two are both here thanks to an online Tengwar transcriber. For those of you not in the know, Tengwar is the Elvish alphabet created by JRR Tolkein for The Lord of the Rings novels. I hasten to stress these are not translated into elvish, only transcribed into the elvish lettering. In that sense they are not strictly accurate, but I like them anyway, and would still get them.
The first one is a quote from The Hobbit that I absolutely love 'Not all who wander are lost' - this one is an almost-definite.
The second simply says 'This too shall pass'. I have suffered from depression for many years, and I just identify with this one. This is a maybe.
The last one is a thought I've had for a while now but haven't made any firm decisions on. I stole this pic from my friend's blog - its of an airbrush design she got in the LA area, and I really like it. Its not a traditional wing look, the shape is more horizontal than vertical, which I prefer for the location its is, and its simple yet effective. I really like this one, but am still undecided.
Okay, that concludes my ramblings for today. Ridiculous isn't it - I'm silent for 2 weeks then all of a sudden I can't shut up. Oh well! :D
Update and Body Art
Gah! I suck again - can't belive how long its been since I blogged. Apologies to my (2) readers for being so incredibly dull, lol!
Anyway, its been hotter than Hell on earth the past couple of weeks - I've been sat here trying very hard not to melt. Now its raining, and still hot. Me no likey! :(
Went to York last week - got about a year's worth of Vitamin D in 5 or so hours. But it was fun - did some shopping, had lunch in a lovely tea room on the Shambles whose name completely escapes me but trust me, it was good. Lovely little garden in the back where we sat to chow down. Thumbs up!
Then went to the York Dungeons - despite having lived 25 minutes from York my entire life I've only been to the Dungeons once before that. I'm happy to report that both experiences were a)pretty different and b) really friggin' creepy. If you like a good theatrical scare, definitely check it out.
I will say, judging by the shopping I did whilst in York, I should be kept away from both Lush and Debenhams at all costs. The Debenhams in York now has an Urban Decay counter - I completely broke down and bought the Deluxe Eyeshadow Palette and a Lipstick in Indecent. I now have a lip-product wish-list a mile long. I really need a job! 8D
Now, onto the other subject I wish to ramble abour - this was inspired by a post on my friend M's blog where she talks a little about tattoos. She and I have chatted about this before (with me attempting to enable because I'm totally hooked and want someone else to be corrupted too, lol!), and it gave me the idea to write a little about it.
I have 3 (or 4 depending on how you count them) tattoos, and am not done yet. I got my first the week after my 18th birthday and haven't looked back. Its a very personal choice and not everyone has to be inked. For me, I enjoy it. I enjoy the whole process - the choosing of the design, making the appointment, even getting the tattoo done (yes it does hurt, but unless you are obscenely sensitive to pain its bearable). I'm not overly find of the aftercare just because I'm impatient, but generally I love it all. So I thought I would share my ink, my possible future ink......whatever I feel like since this is my blog, lol!
Okay, this is my first (and second) tattoo - technically the star in the middle is the first one. The sunburst and shading around I got about 10 months later.
This is in the small of my back, in the middle. Its a pretty decent size, though not enormous by any means.
Numbers 3 & 4 I got at the same time - one on each wrist. These pics were taken when they were pretty fresh - the shine is the lotion used to keep the scab from cracking, and they do look a little sore and smudgy. Sorry!
Those are all the ones I have for now. I have a few more under consideration for the next pieces, which I'll put in a seperate post because frankly this one is like a month long already. Eeep!
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